Saturday, June 27, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

इन डिमांड शर्पिएस

Sharpies are like cigarettes in prison here at the office I work at. (SIRIUS XM)

Why? Why do offices make me want to murder people? They don't. I never want to murder anyone. That's not true.

TV show helps Utah boy survive night solo in woods

Man vs. Wild helped this kid.


I always read stories about people using things they've seen on tv. My mother got in to a car accident, got trapped in the woods and survived for three weeks using skills she learned from Three's Company. Thank you Janet for saving my momz.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Stand Up Apartment 3

These guys are amazing.

The most inside video series about comedy ever created.

have a good weekend.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

चर्लेस्तों साउथ कैरोलाइना!

It's time again for stand-up in Chucktown!

My favorite place.

The show is Saturday July 18th 10pm at Theatre 99

Tickets are only $10 bucks and I feel like I'm worth maybe $11.50. So its a recession special.

Tickets are here

JULY 18th.

Always fun. Big long ass set of comedy.



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

हवाई ५-० गुइतारिस्ट डिएस.

Hawaii 5-0 guitarist dies

His name is/was Bob Bogle. Great name. The best.

and here are some vids in tribute: Thank you Bob Bogle.


(not funny)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

सीसीडे टोनी???

Do you know about the magic nuggets of wonderful audio on the right side of this page????

If you don't--- get to know them, please. They will change you life. For the better or worse--or they will just feel like a waste of they won't shut up.

Watch this: AHAHHAHAHA!

Wait. Why do I like this? Can't explain. It just cracks me up. It should be remade.


Tuesday, June 09, 2009

सुब्वय सुच्क्स!


What's up? Subway sandwiches are terrible. Are they made of plastic?

Last night I purchased a 6-inch tuna sandwich. And I was excited.

Here's what went down:

I got Tuna, red onions, lettuce, pickles, hot peppers and Chipotle southwest sauce.

That's sick, right? A great order. Oh and I got it on Italian bread.

These are not sandwiches.

They look so good though.

I ate it up quick, and 100% of the time I eat Subway my stomach turns inside out. GAH!

I cannot eat Subway anymore. I will have to switch to real sandwiches from now on.

I will never eat food whose theme is based on a transit system.

Picture of my stomach today:

Sorry Subway--our relationship is over....

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

टोपलेस काफ़ी शॉप गोएस डाउन इन FLames

Booby-Coffee Shop Burns

Poor staff. A topless coffee shop?

Eh..sounds kind of nasty.

"Do you guys even have half and half?"

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

फूं विथ Sounds

This will blow your mind. Or it won't

Monday, June 01, 2009


"A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday." - AP

Read this story on

Apparently they couldn't re-attach it. He's done.

He had it all wrong.

My family has punished me before. Grounded me, even took away my allowance or not let me go to a Knicks game here and there...but I've never cut my penis off because of it.

I try to just picture the process of cutting off one's penis and how long it takes. For some reason I always picture these guys using plastic forks to cut them off.

I think as a general rule - never cut your penis off in protest.

Not only will it do absolutely nothing for your cause, but you won't have a penis anymore.

No penis.

No freakin penis.