This site is done..
Please visit kennyzimlinghaus.com
thank you
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
चेक आउट माय उप्कोमिंग दतेस!
I HAVE A NEW WEBSITE...
Its kennyzimlinghaus.com
December 18th - Kansas City CZAR BAR 8pm tickets I think here
Its kennyzimlinghaus.com
December 18th - Kansas City CZAR BAR 8pm tickets I think here
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, April 02, 2010
लाइव शोव्स!
MAY 8th Boston
Boston "Laugh Out Lymphoma" Charity show Tickets here
Wilmington NC May 12th at Nutt Street Comedy Room Nutt Street comedy room
Tickets here
May 14th and 15th Ft. Myers FLorida
The Laugh-In Comedy Cafe Info and tix here
Okay there's more, SOON.
Thank you.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
फिल्ली शो tickets
Hi.
I'm doing a show in Philadelphia on April 23rd. Tickets just went on sale.
April 23rd 8:30 (doors)
Connies Ric Rac This show is BYOB and I find that very exciting. So BYOB.
Tickets can be gotten here
Come out. More shows posted very soon.
Thanks
I'm doing a show in Philadelphia on April 23rd. Tickets just went on sale.
April 23rd 8:30 (doors)
Connies Ric Rac This show is BYOB and I find that very exciting. So BYOB.
Tickets can be gotten here
Come out. More shows posted very soon.
Thanks
Monday, March 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
COMING UP!
Feb 12th and 13th in Boston! Tickets for Mottleys
March 5th "The Flaming Hearth" - Farmingville 8pm.
TICKETS FOR THIS
Thank you.
Feb 12th and 13th in Boston! Tickets for Mottleys
March 5th "The Flaming Hearth" - Farmingville 8pm.
TICKETS FOR THIS
Thank you.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
२०१० कॉमेडी शो दतेस!!!
Hello. Thanks for coming to the site! Here are some dates you can come see me tell jokes and what not coming up in OH TEN!
JANUARY 28th-31st Go Bananas Cincinatti, Ohio
February 6th, Boston "Magners Comedy Festival" - Tommy's Comedy Lounge.
February 12th and 13th "Valentine's Day Weekend" BOSTON Mottley's Comedy Club
Tickets here
March 5th 8pm "Flaming Hearth" 756 Horseblock Road, Farmingville, NY 11738
TICKETS!
More to come. Thanks!
JANUARY 28th-31st Go Bananas Cincinatti, Ohio
February 6th, Boston "Magners Comedy Festival" - Tommy's Comedy Lounge.
February 12th and 13th "Valentine's Day Weekend" BOSTON Mottley's Comedy Club
Tickets here
March 5th 8pm "Flaming Hearth" 756 Horseblock Road, Farmingville, NY 11738
TICKETS!
More to come. Thanks!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
थे एंड ऑफ़ थे वर्ल्ड
It's over in 2012, right?
We're done.
The end of the world. How can I prepare myself for The White House falling from the sky? Or being hit by a ship?
Oh, imagine being hit by a ship? An enormous tanker moving so slowly. Oh that'd be a terrible fail.
"I got crushed by a building, how'd you die?"
"Oh, its funny actually...the White House fell on me. I was in Colorado."
"Wow! Crazy. I got hit by an oil tanker. On land."
"You slow fuck."
If you think people don't give a shit about you now, imagine how they will be during the end of the world.
"Excuse me, you're stomping on my kid...yeah just let him up, okay, now you're biting him..AAAAAHH, you're eating my son! You are eating my kin!"
Then Mt. Rushmore explodes in your face.
Get a Go Bag.
There is a meteor shower tonight. Early tomorrow morning actually.
here's a link to NATGEO.
ridiculously slow.
Did you notice that National Geographic link above? It says NatGeo. That's what we call National Geographic now? NatGeo. The world has already ended.
NatGeo? It doesn't work. It's too exxxtreme for National Geographic. Didn't they have credibility? They were able to show titties before most magazines. Because they were National Geographic. So when you approached a naked tribal woman you could say, with a hint of an english accent, "Excuse me, may I take your photo for National Geographic Magazine?"
And the tribeswoman, knowing that her life would be made better because of the reputation of such a class act, obliged.
But NatGeo skates by on their board and snaps a pic from their cell.
And we all just accept NesQuik??? Like nothing? No fight about this. They did this one overnight whilst we were asleep.
Nestle's Quick became NesQuik.
Drink NesQuik. Fuck you.
I still drink it. I love it.
![]()
We're done.
The end of the world. How can I prepare myself for The White House falling from the sky? Or being hit by a ship?
Oh, imagine being hit by a ship? An enormous tanker moving so slowly. Oh that'd be a terrible fail.
"I got crushed by a building, how'd you die?"
"Oh, its funny actually...the White House fell on me. I was in Colorado."
"Wow! Crazy. I got hit by an oil tanker. On land."
"You slow fuck."
If you think people don't give a shit about you now, imagine how they will be during the end of the world.
"Excuse me, you're stomping on my kid...yeah just let him up, okay, now you're biting him..AAAAAHH, you're eating my son! You are eating my kin!"
Then Mt. Rushmore explodes in your face.
Get a Go Bag.
There is a meteor shower tonight. Early tomorrow morning actually.
here's a link to NATGEO.
ridiculously slow.
Did you notice that National Geographic link above? It says NatGeo. That's what we call National Geographic now? NatGeo. The world has already ended.
NatGeo? It doesn't work. It's too exxxtreme for National Geographic. Didn't they have credibility? They were able to show titties before most magazines. Because they were National Geographic. So when you approached a naked tribal woman you could say, with a hint of an english accent, "Excuse me, may I take your photo for National Geographic Magazine?"
And the tribeswoman, knowing that her life would be made better because of the reputation of such a class act, obliged.
But NatGeo skates by on their board and snaps a pic from their cell.
And we all just accept NesQuik??? Like nothing? No fight about this. They did this one overnight whilst we were asleep.
Nestle's Quick became NesQuik.
Drink NesQuik. Fuck you.
I still drink it. I love it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
इ दोन'टी लिखे स्टीप क्लुब्स
I'm straight. Really.
I love girls. I love naked girls. I love to have sex with girls.
I love breasts and all of that.
I don't like strip clubs.
The last time I was at a strip club I watched a fairly gross drunk girl take a nose dive off the stage in to a chair. I liked that.
but to me, hanging out with girls and paying them money so they pay you attention seems a little lame.
Not to mention you are surrounded by horned up dudes with hard-ons. Really. Its like some bizarre fully clothed orgy or TruBlood fest with just guys.
I always have that mentality with strippers like "I can take you away from all of this". Truth is, they most likely make more money than me and I can take them away from nothing. I should be like "take me away from all of this".
My father once bought me a 25 min lap dance for a birthday and it was rough. literally. Rough. I felt like my Dad paid a girl (hot) to wrestle me for a half hour and I couldn't use my hands. She won.
I'm not against stripping or strip clubs and will most likely still go (in hopes of watching liquored up naked girls take more faceplants) but to me its just not fun.
Eh...maybe I'm a nerd or too much of a wuss and I should just go in there with a wad of cash and celebrate life and pay for grinding.
Here are some of my favorite stripper pics:
I wrestled her. Him?
That's all
I love girls. I love naked girls. I love to have sex with girls.
I love breasts and all of that.
I don't like strip clubs.
The last time I was at a strip club I watched a fairly gross drunk girl take a nose dive off the stage in to a chair. I liked that.
but to me, hanging out with girls and paying them money so they pay you attention seems a little lame.
Not to mention you are surrounded by horned up dudes with hard-ons. Really. Its like some bizarre fully clothed orgy or TruBlood fest with just guys.
I always have that mentality with strippers like "I can take you away from all of this". Truth is, they most likely make more money than me and I can take them away from nothing. I should be like "take me away from all of this".
My father once bought me a 25 min lap dance for a birthday and it was rough. literally. Rough. I felt like my Dad paid a girl (hot) to wrestle me for a half hour and I couldn't use my hands. She won.
I'm not against stripping or strip clubs and will most likely still go (in hopes of watching liquored up naked girls take more faceplants) but to me its just not fun.
Eh...maybe I'm a nerd or too much of a wuss and I should just go in there with a wad of cash and celebrate life and pay for grinding.
Here are some of my favorite stripper pics:
I wrestled her. Him?
That's all
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
स्चेनेक्टाद्य न्य शो ओं सेल!
Tickets for the Schenectady NY show on OCTOBER 3rd are on sale now!
It's at a place called The Van Dyck Restaurant and Lounge.
It's a cool spot.
Tickets are only $10!!!
Saturday night October 3rd at 8pm in Schenectady NY! SIIIIIICK!
Please come!
Thanks
kenny
It's at a place called The Van Dyck Restaurant and Lounge.
It's a cool spot.
Tickets are only $10!!!
Saturday night October 3rd at 8pm in Schenectady NY! SIIIIIICK!
Please come!
Thanks
kenny
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
क्लोवं doofus
This is awesome.
Saturday September 12th TWO SHOWS!!!!
Stand - up comedy live!!!
Ypsilanti Michigan 7:30 and 9:30 with an afterparty!!!
Tickets are only $12
Please come!!!
Saturday September 12th TWO SHOWS!!!!
Stand - up comedy live!!!
Ypsilanti Michigan 7:30 and 9:30 with an afterparty!!!
Tickets are only $12
Please come!!!
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