I'm not good at html suff and I can't minimize photos (see: last blog). So, sorry.
I've made love to food. In fact this morning, I put on a clinic at brunch:
2 eggs. (over easy)
2 Sausages. (butterlflied, actually)
Mash Poatatos and gravy.
2 pieces of toast.
2 peroiges filled w/potato. (I know, didn't even think about double potato. w/sour cream AND applesauce on side)
Coffee, water. A bite of waffle.
Originally wanted banana pancakes, but the diner had no peanut butter.
What?
When it came to me that this what I wanted to eat, I was forced to think of myself passing out dead in some hotel room.
I have food shame.
One of my favorite seafood dishes is scallops. I love delicious, sauteed scallops with like some sauce or butter. Or butter suace! Oh my God!
But look at what I found:
THESE ARE WHAT SCALLOPS EYES LOOK LIKE CLOSE-UP! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
And scroll........
"Push, push Mr. Ming, almost there!!!"
"and push, breathe and......"
"Almost and.."It's a......."
Yo!
I don't like when they give food personallities.
Like:
I don't want to eat personality.
Yuck.
It's a raisin! All natural. That's disgusting. How does that make them more appealing to us?.....
.....Oh I know, because they are in a band.
That's right. I only eat peanuts that think they are better than me.
I guess the reason I don't like when advertisers give food personalities is kind of like, you know, when you are meeting someone for the first time and you have an idea in your head of what they look like, but when you meet them you can't really remember what you thought they loooked like in your fake imaginery head vision?
Well, with food, I already have an idea of what it sounds like, what it would say to me if it could:
"I love being inside you".
And this is what a dust mite looks like (they live all around you millions of them):
"Uh...what?"
"Nothing, nothing, just wanted to get a quick photo, sorry"
"GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!"
Later.
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