Saturday, December 06, 2008

I've started to compile a list of phrases I think I say too much. I want to stop using them. Here is what I have so far:
(I will also show the first image returned in a google image search for the saying...yay.)

1. "I hear that". I would really like to stop saying this. I hear that. That's the most stripped down answer to anything. I hear that. I acknowledge your mouth has been moving yes.

Awesome so far.

2. "Isn't it ironic?" Oh my God. Every time I hear this gem slip out of my mouth I immediately feel like a douchebag. Like, "man, no one here will ever think of me the same way because I just said that".

The picture thing already felt stupid to me.

3. "Literally across the street." This is an interesting one that I think everyone uses. We only really say literally when we say this phrase. "yeah, yeah and the restaurant is literally across the street". You understand.

4. "Hey Moonshine, I'll tear that squirrel's ass up". Just kidding, I've never said that.

5. "What are you doing for the fourth?". It just seems aggressive.

6. "How much you bench?" I'm too competitive, I know.

7. "Can I have the Baconator please?" I said this today. Once is enough. But man, it is ridiculously good. It's a Double Cheeseburger covered in tons of bacon.

Should be illegal. Really. That sandwich did dirty things to me. Its not a sandwich. It's like a meat house. Coincidentally, that's what people shortened my last name to sometimes when I was a fat kid. Meathouse. Then it got shortened to Meathose. Then to Mee Toes. Then she goes. Brie ghost and Fritos, Cheetos then Bleedy-nose and finally back to Fat Boy.

8. "You've never seen Boogie Nights?"