Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I love this kid. You may have seen this, but I would steal this kid.

Siick moves. How fun would it be to know this kid?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

थे Cougar

Are you watching the Cougar?

Just wondering. She's 61.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I stayed up late LATE and had some beers last night, you know then I got to get up at like the taint of dawn. Waaah waaaah wwwwaaaaah!

"Taint of Dawn" = great name for a thrash metal band.

"Taint of Dawn"

or for a lighter group whose name sounds like Taints of's "Painted Fawn!"

You know what occurred to me today for the first time ever? That my name is Kenny. And so is Kenny Rogers. Kenny freakin' Rogers.

He looks like a Kenny. I just feel like all Kennys look so much like what a "Kenny" would look like. Let's research:

Kenny Chesney

Yeah. All Kenny. He's like "sup?" Dork.

Kenny Wayne Shepard (don't even know how i know this name)

Keeennnnny. All the way.

Kenny Loggins

Oh yeah, totally. Such a kenny. his face is all kenny.

Ken the Barbie doll

Whoa, easy now. He looks like more of a Troy here.



send me an email.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

Weeks end

Have a nice weekend. Go outside!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

कॉमिक्स उन्लेअश अबाउट Twitter

This was on CNN:

Really? Really?

that's it.

"To me its about the response" --

I'm not judging these two, but what is going on?



Monday, May 11, 2009

बोस्टन शो तिक्केट्स ओं सेल टुडे!!!


Tickets for the Boston summer show are on sale now! (I have to tell you)

The show is July 30th at a club called Mottley's Comedy Club (the show is half way down the page)

The club is intimate and awesome, but that means there aren't that many tickets and they will sell out. Get them today.

It's Thursday 7/30 8pm...Let's do this



Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

My favorite headline on today is:

Dick Cheney Slams Colin Powell

Have a great day. Enjoy.

Friday, May 08, 2009

स्टैंड उप अपार्टमेन्ट २!

The second installment of the most inside video ever made.

And it looks like we shot it with the Disney Pix Micro 2.0 Digital Camera - Hannah Montana Stars.

We didn't.

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

ओवेर्हेअर्द इन NYC

I heard this recently in NYC

A guy was talking to his buddy and said:

"Having a baby can't be hard. It's just like taking a big shit"

What? Really buddy?

Have you ever gone to the bathroom and noticed that your waste was attached to a rope connected in side of your body that needs to be cut with scissors?

You've taken shits in hospitals and then had to take the shit home with you and take care of it for the rest of its life?

Have you started saving money to put your piece of shit through school?

Yeah, I just nailed that guy.

Mother's Day is just around the corner.

Please join my Facebook group. It's the best.

it's okay.

Tweet me.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

फस Transplant


My friend MC Aaron has ranked his favorite nuts and I'm now doing the same today:

1. Peanut (hands down..unsalted)


2. Cashew (amazing yet pricey)

3. Almond (almond milk = delicious and its no dairy--delicious)

4. Walnut

(I'm too tired to put up more pics of nuts)

5. Pecan

6. Hazlenut

7. Chestnut (The nuts are an important food crop in southern Europe, southwestern and eastern Asia, and also in eastern North America before the chestnut blight.In southern Europe in the Middle Ages, whole forest-dwelling communities which had scarce access to wheat flour relied on chestnuts as their main source of carbohydrates)

okaaay ---

I don't eat any other nuts.

My Twitter

have a good day.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Television tonight!


I just saw a commercial for the new ABC's "The Bachelorette".

(pictured below)

One of the quotes from the new bachelorette was "I don't give a crap what a guy puts on a hotdog as long as he loves me"

Really? I put throw up on my hot dog.

Really? I put other girls on my hot dog.

Oh really? You don't care what I put on my hotdog? Well, that's hurtful and I want a woman who cares about what I put on my hotdogs.

I put your pinkeys on my hotdog. I've been doing it for years, Stubby.

More people might watch that show if it were called "The Batch".

My friends Facebook status right now is "You know you've had a good workout when you feel like you just had sex"

Yeah...or a terrible workout?

"How was the gym?"

"Uh, it was okay, but I came in my pants on the Gazelle"

"It was okay, except I'm really sad and alone right now, and my genitals feel like I just rubbed them with steel wool."

"I worked out pretty har...Is that blood? Oh my God. It is! WTF?!" (sorry)

Sunday, May 03, 2009

It could be worse


This video is 2 mins 44 seconds too long!


There's no way they are enjoying themselves. They can't be. Too many moves.

They deliver the news.

If I was in this video, the name of it would be "The Last Thing Kenny Zimlinghaus Did Before He Ended It All"

Actually, since everyone seems to find my last name difficult to spell, the headline would read "The Last Thing Kenny Dingringdraws Did Before He Shot himself"

Yeah, I changed a couple of parts.

Let's just get through the day.

Friday, May 01, 2009

पानुत बुट्टर फ्रिदय!


Peanut Butter is my favorite everything. It is #1 on every list I have. I eat PB every day. Most times on bread and I never put it anywhere else on my body but in my stomach.

I prefer chunky.

If I had to eat other sugary peanut butter I would choose:

That's right, I'm a choosey mom in a pinch.

This man:

George Washington Carver.

The best.

This is crack.

What is this website? Really? Am I even doing anything on this website. Please check out some of the audio clips on the right. Next week, there will be more added.

have a nice weekend.