Thursday, May 17, 2007

My favorite Van Damme fight scene. Very funny.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This is pretty ridiculous.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Ugly Betty Star insures her smile for.......$10 million!!!!

$10 million. On a tooth per tooth basis.

$10 Million.

$10 million

$10 million

Uh...$8 million?

$0 million

I'll send you some cash.

SO Schtupid.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

This is pretty ridiculous.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Scented bowling balls????

I just found out these balls.

My father is a huuuge bowler. They have bowling balls with scents. Like crumb cake. Seriously.

My favorite bowler:

Mr. Johnny Petraglia.

He's in the Hall of Fame.

Anyway, there's always guys like:

Parker Bohn, III

Guy lives in an RV and travels on tour with his wife and family.


Walter Ray Williams. Look at how conditioned he is. Amazing shape. (he's actually really really lean now and bleaches his hair)

Bowling is a lot of fun. Join a league today!!!!!

Oooh, I just remembered, I was on my high school bowling team. Yeeesh.

He was on my team.

I can't knock it, though. We got to travel around to other towns and bowl for free??? And there were no rules about going to the snack bar. We could eat anytime we wanted. Amazing.




Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Thunder Maxims and Arrows

I'm always more inclined to give money to homeless guys with beautiful eyes.
"Umm, almost Buddy. I nearly got my wallet out simply because you look like a filthy Paul Newman"

People with no noses scare the shit out of me.

You know what feels absolutely terrible? Eating while crying.

I'll never play in the NBA. The NFL. The WNBA. (does anyone really play in that? kidding. calm the fuck down) The PGA...maybe. I'll never fuck Vivica A. Fox. Ever.
Not on purpose. Just wont happen.

GrapeNuts are too crunchy! It feels like I'm off-roading in my mouth. I don't want to eat any food that makes me feel like my jaw needs shocks.

Coughing makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

Wheelchair! The musical.

Do you think a recent NBA drafted player for Denver is ever like, "Fuck no! I'm not gonna be no damn Nugget! The Nuggets? Are you serious. I have to be a Nugget?"

Not an intimidating name. The Nuggets. "Uh-oh. The Nuggets are here. No! Not the Nuggets!".

I've met more than one person in my life who has a piece of lead pencil in their arm permanently"

Remember when Wendy's Dave Thomas died? Where were you? Never forget.

I do a get a bit bothered by the 9-11 paraphernalia that says never forget. I'm always like, "I won't. Believe me."

I always picture little guys working in my body, making it function. They have hard hats on and little tiny walkey talkies. And anytime something goes wrong they are just going crazy.

"Yes! It's just liquid and it keeps coming! I don't know what they hell is going on, but I can't stop it!! No Terry's not here today. He's in the saliva factory today. Are the checks in today?"