I just saw a commercial for the new ABC's "The Bachelorette".
One of the quotes from the new bachelorette was "I don't give a crap what a guy puts on a hotdog as long as he loves me"
Really? I put throw up on my hot dog.
Really? I put other girls on my hot dog.
Oh really? You don't care what I put on my hotdog? Well, that's hurtful and I want a woman who cares about what I put on my hotdogs.
I put your pinkeys on my hotdog. I've been doing it for years, Stubby.
More people might watch that show if it were called "The Batch".
My friends Facebook status right now is "You know you've had a good workout when you feel like you just had sex"
Yeah...or a terrible workout?
"How was the gym?"
"Uh, it was okay, but I came in my pants on the Gazelle"
"It was okay, except I'm really sad and alone right now, and my genitals feel like I just rubbed them with steel wool."
"I worked out pretty har...Is that blood? Oh my God. It is! WTF?!" (sorry)