Wednesday, March 14, 2007


This guy admits his 9-11 terror acts.

This is the guy.

Well thats great. This is what he looked like before:

No way does terrorism pay. End up looking like that.

That's like I used to look lke this:

And now I look like this:

Gross. How could those prisoners volunteer for something like that?

Sicko terrorists.

I got nothin.

Today I was walking on the street and I passed this homeless guy asking people for change. But he had beautiful eyes. Amazing. The kind of eyes where you look in to them and they smell like your mothers cheeseburgers with onions. The kind of eyes that look like sweet Oriental children. (I only said oriental because of how ridiculously cute Oriental babies are) Much cuter than white kids. Look:

Ridiculous. They're both babies.

"Slick shoes! Slick Shoes!" Nice.

Whatever. So this homeless guy had great eyes. You should be able to find work with eyes like that. Unless, people are just throwing money at him because of his eyes. He realized this was his best way to earn a living.

I didn't give him any money.

What? Nice story. People reading this are like:

"Wow I never had my computer take a crap on me until I read this blog. My computer just took a shit all over me."

His buddy's like, "What? What the hell. Is that shit? That is shit!"

"It's computer shit."

"What the hell is computer shit?"

"I don't know what happened, I read this blog and my computer just.....I didn't even know computers were filled with shit."

His buddy starts reading the blog and throws up.

"Oh, what the hell?! Don't read it. Don't fuckin' read it. Gross."

The buddy runs away to clean himself.


Wow that was a gem, huh? Filthy. Schtupid.

I read this story (Can't find it on web. Sorry) "Another shit. The computer shit again!"

No, seriously. I read this story about a kid making a pea shooter and bringing it to school. Pea shooters look like this:

Sometimes they have a balloon attached to a small piece of plastic pipe. And you shoot a pea out of it. Or spitball, or something likea pea. So this kid shot a kid and he got expelled from school and arrested. They charged him with posession of a missile. Posession of a missile?

missiles look like this:

There's no other category? It goes from brassknuckles to pocket knife to....Missile?!

How bout' sling shot?

that kid is going to have a tough time fillin out job applications later on.

"Have you ever been convicted of a felony?"

"Uh, yes. One"

"What was it?"

"Um....uh.....posession of a missile"

And now when the kid who got shot tells his side of the story is he like pointing to his arm saying,

"Right here. Right about here. This is where the missile hit me".


Welp. Hope your family is doing fine. On tomorrow's weblog: "Running the mile and shirts and skins-more tales of a fat child's miserable existence". Seriously.