Wednesday, April 04, 2007


I feel:


I also feel:


Ohhhhh! Nice move kid. You know where the boy learned that move from?

The Sack Drop master himself:



I'm excited baseball is back and going again......

I'm a Mets fan. But, you know who I am not a fan of?

This guy:

Mr. Met?!

That's our mascot? A ball? A baseball head?

"But, the other team wants to bash him!"

He is not itimidating at all.
A dancing baseball head human.

Well, at least we have a good fight song.

"Meet the Mets. Meet the Mets. Everybody step right up and, greet the Mets."

Here are the lyrics to the entire song: (written by Ruth Roberts and Bill Katz)

Step right up and greet the Mets!
Bring your kiddies,
bring your wife;

(Wait. This song is only for married guys with families?)

Guaranteed to have the time of your life
because the Mets are really sockin’ the ball (well, go ahead now...sock it!)
; knocking those home runs over the wall!
East side,
West side,
everybody’d coming down
to meet the M-E-T-S Mets of New York town!

(Hmmm....not sure when anyone referred to New York City as New York town...maybe when things were the cat's pajamas....doin the 23 ska-doo.....)

Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the streets, (yeah, see if you can see your butcher at Shea Staium next time you're there)
where did they go? To MEET THE METS! (society has been shut down, no businesses in operation, it's Marshall Law. Why? Because everyone went to meet the Mets!)

Oh, they’re hollerin’ and cheerin’ and they’re jumpin’ in their seats,
where did they go? To MEET THE METS!
All the fans are tru to the orange and blue,
so hurry up and come on down -
‘cause we’ve got ourselves a ball club,
The Mets of New York town!
Give ‘em a yell!
Give ‘em a hand!
And let ‘em know your rootin’ in the stand!

But that's still not that bad. I got a little emo during the reading the second verse. Especially, "all fans are tru..." and "we've got ourselves a ball club".

They are both moving lines.


I met Dan Marino once.

Yeah, this guy:

He was in Atlantic City doing this promotional thing with Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas and John Elway. It was called, "An Evening with Legends"

Do you think John Elway would've done the same thing with his life if his name was, "Herm Nerdlegerger"?

We got there late. I was with My stepfather, Ray, buddy and sports guy at the time, Big Jim and this other crazy guy, John.

We were all boozed up, they were raffling off prizes when we got there and if they pulled your name they would throw you an autographed ball. The room was full of really old people.

They pull a guys name. "Herm Nerdlegerger?" No no no. And this old man gets up and is like, "okay, right here, can you still throw it?"

Elway reaches back and guns this ball straight at the old man. It has so much force it starts to rise. The old man throws his arms up to catch it. And he does. And it nearly carries him through the wall.

These QB's were pissed and throwing rockets. People were afraid to claim their prize for fear of having their sternums broken from these NFL quarterbacks. At this point, Big Jim leaves. He was bored. He was the sports guy on a morning radio show?! Hilarious.

We waited two hours to get a picture with them (I have it, and I need to scan it)
and afterwards I ran to the bathroom and Marino walked in behind me.

I was like, "I can't believe you sat up there that long".

He says, "You'll never see that again. Trust me. You'll never see that shit again."


Sorry, man. I trust you. I trust you, Dan Marino.

I felt bad for him. He had to sit and answer questions from old people and throw commerative footballs at them. Poor guy. That's like a guy walking in the bathroom and being like, "That was the worst blowjob ever! Absolutely horrendous. Trust me, I ain't doin' that shit again".


"Ladies and Gentlemen,...Herm Nerdlegerger!"

Good luck getting those 8 minutes back.