Hi. I was on the phone with my father today and we were fighting. It got pretty nasty, and I felt for the first time I was gonna go nuts and lash out at my Dad.
He was like " Why are you acting like such an asshole?"
I was like "Me? An Asshole? Well, you've said alot of stupid things today".
He said " You're acting like a little shit".... Here's where it got weird.
I was like "No I'm not! You're being a total cock-tease".........
I had said it so fast and fueled by adrenaline that I had no idea what i had just spewed.
"What did you just call me?" He asked.
I knew he didn't really have any idea what that was, but as competitive as I am with him, and filled with anger, I continued to sell it.
"Yeah, you heard me. You're a cock-tease".
"What do you mean by that"?
Still, I continued to sell it.
"I mean you tease my balls, Dad. You get me all fired up and then you leave me hanging."
I knew that he had no way to respond or at least didn't even want to fathom that I was somehow telling him he was good at foreplay or something. So he just hung up the phone.
Was he mad? Could he be mad that I called him a cock-tease? No way, right? I mean, it's not true. So I knew I needed to apologize to him. That was absurdly awkward....
(later that day)
"Hello?" He answered his cell.
"Dad. It's me. I'm sorry."
"Sorry? You should be sorry. Why don't you tell me what you're sorry for"? He sounded pissed.
I hesitated. "Dad...I'm sorry I called you a cock-tease...you're not a cock-tease."
"And I don't tease your balls, right"?
"No, no. You don't tease my balls. In fact, you've never had anything to do with that".
"That's all I wanted to hear... I love you.".
"Uh, I love you too, Dad".
We hung up.
And that was the first time my Dad told me he loved me. Right after I called him a cock-tease.
Here are some pics of fathers and sons who are much happier, and that's sad:
Surpisingly, the guy on the left is the Dad.
(why wouldn't he let the kid hold the fish anyway?...)
Something is getting burned into the the psyche of this child.
He passed his test. Mutha fucka! My boy. Mutha fucka Mutha fucka. Mutha Fucka!
It's only fair I put a pic of me a my pops:
I love you Dad...cock-teasing Muthafucka.