SICK!
I noticed today that its harder to walk past a homeless guy with beautiful eyes and not give him money. I always think twice, like, "Hmmm....he seems in a tough place", simply based on the fact that he looks like a filthy
Paul Newman.
This links to Heaven.
Schtupid.
KURRENT EVENTS:
KFC worker and her son stage robbery.
Awesome! This story is gonna be sweet!
"Mother and son come up with a plan to rob a major fast food chain? What was their plan? Did they hide in the rafters and wait til close and paint their faces camo and synchronize their watches?"
No.
The mother told the son to punch her in the face.
Nice plan.
She told the cops the robber punched her in the face while she was changing a tire.?????!!! Really?! You were just changing a tire and someone came and punched you in the face? Was it AAA?
And how exactly did that help out with the robbery? I mean this guy must have been pretty thorough to start laying people out in the parking lot. He started punching as soon as he left his house.
He punched this kid as soon as he got to the bottom of his driveway.
Then.....
He jumps these guys. KFC was still two miles away.
Look at these guys. The Left Arm Jacket Hangin Crew.
That guy on the left is hiding a surpsrise behinid his brief case.
His attache case.
Whatever.
Next?
Oh, I just saw this. Yeesh!
700 lb. Woman trapped inside her home.
How many of these things are going to happen in our lifetime? Doesn't this seem like not that rare of an occasion? Remember, Walter Hudson? The fifth most obese person in human history. He only got 5th place. But he had a situation where a "morbidly obese" person gets "trapped" inside their house?
What was going on when she weighed 580lbs.? Was she like, "yep. no problems here. I can still clear the doorway, got a good 1/2 inch on my left and my right...more meat". How come nobody helps these people? Food is obviously addictive. If you had a friend and they started to push 400lbs. wouldn't you at least be like, "Hey Jeff, you're huge! I mean you are so fucking huge. What do you weigh? 400?!!! 400? Are you serious?"
But to have to get your upstairs window cut out of the framework of your home so that you can leave and go get help must be a little tough to do. Construction work has to be done on your house before you can leave.
"I feel like going out"
"Okay, we'll reinforce the sidewalk so it doesn't explode underneath you".
I know I'll be that huge one day. Hopefully.
What? No I don't.
I learned this the other day. When you are chatting over the computer about your friend Jesus (pronounced "Hey Zeus"), be careful not to trash talk him, and if you do, log out of your chat.
Someone read my chat:
Me: what's the deal with Jesus? Why didn't he show up?
Other person: I dunno.
Me: Can't rely on Jesus. What a fuckin jerk. He never shows up when he says he will.
OP: I know, kind of sucks.
Me: I'm done with Jesus. Fuck em. Sorry. This time he went too far.
Imagine reading that and picturing this guy?:
Makes me feel bad.
So I now refer to my friend as Hey Zeus. All the time.
HEY:
He looks like a Thundercat.
Later.
zimlinghaus
