AHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!

Man smears his lawyer's face with feces and then throws it at jury. Ha.

A San Diego judge has declared a mistrial in a kidnapping and assault case after the defendant smeared excrement on his lawyer's face and threw it at jurors. The judge boosted defendant Weusi McGowan's bail from $250,000 to $1 million after the Monday incident.

I ain't going out like that! Mistrial???? I'll say. That definitely shouldn't happen at court.

The most notable thing in this story is that the guy's name is Weusi. Weusi?!

I've never heard this name before. Just looked it up. It's Swahilian meaning blackness. I thought it was Swahilian for shit-thrower.

I would assume you would be held in contempt if you throw s**t at the jury. If I was a juror on that case I'd be pissed if that happened.

I'd immediately be like "Guilty! Guilty! Yeah, this guy definitely gets the chair. Case closed. We're leaving"





Jury doodie.

Hello.

Star Trek creator and wife's ashes are being sent to space.

yup. Roddenberry's ashes are going to space!

Now I'm thinking about what I want to do with my crumbs when I die.

Maybe I can make them into a paste and cook them into a cake or pie or perhaps I will blend them in to my own homemade peanut butter.



How much ash does one body make?
How does the crematory know that the ashes are definitely yours?

Does it even matter?

I actually think I would like to get stuffed. Taxidermy. yeah, I'd like to get taxidermeed(?)

Taxidermy.net


I would freeze myself like this:




And position myself (well I will ask someone to position me this way in my will) right inside my front door.




prop me up in the center of the dining room table. I actually look kind of dead here.


Have a wonderful day. Snow day!!!

ooohh also Hungry caterpillars force Liberian emergency Crazy....

It's STEVE TUESDAY SUCKA!!!



That's Steve. He's doing that right now.


This is a list of plants cat's shouldn't eat:

Almond (Pits of) Aloe Vera Alocasia Amaryllis Apple (seeds) Apple Leaf Croton Apricot (Pits of)Arrowgrass Asparagus Fern Autumn Crocus Avacado (fuit and pit)Azalea
Baby’s Breath Baneberry Bayonet Beargrass Beech Belladonna Bird of Paradise Bittersweet Black-eyed Susan Black Locust Bleeding Heart Bloodroot Bluebonnet Box
Boxwood Branching Ivy Buckeyes Buddist Pine Burning Bush Buttercup Cactus Candelabra
Caladium Calla Lily Castor Bean Ceriman Charming Dieffenbachia Cherry (pits, seeds & wilting leaves)Cherry, most wild varieties Cherry, ground Cherry, Laurel Chinaberry Chinese Evergreen Christmas Rose Chrysanthemum Cineria Clematis Cordatum Coriaria
Cornflower Corn Plant Cornstalk Plant Croton Corydalis Crocus, Autumn
Crown of Thorns
Cuban Laurel
Cutleaf Philodendron
Cycads
Cyclamen
Daffodil
Daphne
Datura
Deadly Nightshade
Death Camas
Devil’s Ivy
Delphinium
Decentrea
Dieffenbachia
Dracaena Palm
Dragon Tree
Dumb Cane
Easter Lily *
Eggplant
Elaine
Elderberry
Elephant Ear
Emerald Feather
English Ivy
Eucalyptus
Euonymus
Evergreen
Ferns
Fiddle-leaf fig
Florida Beauty
Flax
Four O’Clock
Foxglove
Fruit Salad Plant
Geranium
German Ivy
Giant Dumb Cane
Glacier IvyGolden Chain
Gold Dieffenbachia
Gold Dust Dracaena
Golden Glow
Golden Pothos
Gopher Purge
Hahn’s Self-Branching Ivy
Heartland Philodendron
Hellebore
Hemlock, Poison
Hemlock, Water
Henbane
Holly
Honeysuckle
Horsebeans
Horsebrush
Horse Chestnuts
Hurricane Plant
Hyacinth
Hydrangea
Indian Rubber Plant
Indian Tobacco
Iris
Iris Ivy
Jack in the Pulpit
Janet Craig Dracaena
Japanese Show Lily *
Java Beans
Jessamine
Jerusalem Cherry
Jimson Weed
Jonquil
Jungle Trumpets
Kalanchoe
Lacy Tree Philodendron
Lantana
Larkspur
Laurel
Lily
Lily Spider
Lily of the Valley
Locoweed
Lupine
Madagascar Dragon Tree
Marble Queen
Marigold
Marijuana
Mescal Bean
Mexican Breadfruit
Miniature Croton
Mistletoe
Mock Orange
Monkshood
Moonseed
Morning Glory
Mother-in Law’s Tongue
Morning Glory
Mountain Laurel
Mushrooms
Narcissus
Needlepoint Ivy
Nephytis
Nightshade
Oleander
Onion
Oriental Lily *
Peace Lily
Peach (pits and wilting leaves)
Pencil Cactus
Peony
Periwinkle
Philodendron
Pimpernel
Plumosa Fern
Poinciana
Poinsettia (low toxicity)
Poison Hemlock
Poison Ivy
Poison Oak
Pokeweed
Poppy
Potato
Pothos
Precatory Bean
Primrose
Privet, Common
Red Emerald
Red Princess
Red-Margined Dracaena
Rhododendron
Rhubarb
Ribbon Plant
Rosemary Pea
Rubber Plant
Saddle Leaf Philodendron
Sago Palm
Satin Pothos
Schefflera
Scotch Broom
Silver Pothos
Skunk Cabbage
Snowdrops
Snow on the Mountain
Spotted Dumb Cane
Staggerweed
Star of Bethlehem
String of Pearls
Striped Dracaena
Sweetheart Ivy
Sweetpea
Swiss Cheese plant
Tansy Mustard
Taro Vine
Tiger Lily *
Tobacco
Tomato Plant (green fruit, stem and leaves)
Tree Philodendron
Tropic Snow Dieffenbachia
Tulip
Tung Tree
Virginia Creeper
Water Hemlock
Weeping Fig
Wild Call
Wisteria
Yews — e.g. Japanese Yew
English Yew
Western Yew
American Yew



---------------------

I know right? I can't believe cats cannot eat Mexican Breadfruit. It's just unfair.

Hello. It's monday.


I have a new song and if you'd like to hear it....it's right here on the right ----> of this page. It's called "Cannonball in My Pool". It really came from a dark place within. I hope you enjoy it.




I bowled a 210 yesterday in the Hambones win over Bowling with Scissors.

HAMBONES!!!

Bad Smell in club

I did this.

Next week is the Charleston Comedy Festival:


January 14-17 is the Charleston Comedy Festival in beautiful Charleston South Carolina. I am doing two shows at the Music Farm.

You can get tickets here.


or here.

OR you can get them in every other word in this sentence.

I love this place and this festival. If you live close (I consider up to three days of driving close) you should come.



Okay thanks. oh I wonder what happens when you click this. (I promise you its not tickets. Really.)



See?

Hey. the Charleston Comedy Festival is next week. Charleston, South Carolina. Its amazing and fun and funny. you should come. I am doing a show called Stand-up Showdown at The Music Farm...official link after the jump.
There is no jump. I just read that sometimes on blogs. I don't know how to do jumps. More soon. Thanks.


Charleston Comedy Festival (oh,...that was a jump...siiick)