This kid is my hero! right now. My heros change, you know? At one point in my life He-Man was my hero. He's not anymore. Heroes are temporary. that seems sad.




Look how sad he looks.


bye bye. have nice weekend.

The Eye of GOD. Aaaaaaahhhh!


Scientists find the eye of God!

great.


GOD has blue eyes. Siiiick.

Hi.

I can't believe people are still buying the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed?



The thing is like 6 grand????!!!!!!

Buy a pillow or sit up. You don't need an engine in your bed get up. You need a back muscle. Maybe a little will to live.


And people are all fired up now about memory foam mattresses.



I don't want my mattress to remember anything.


Mattress: "Hey, do you remember last week?"

Me: "Uh..."

Mattress: "I do. I've never seen someone search the web so quickly with so much Vaseline on their hands"

If you've never been here, please check out EVERYTHING!

Thanks

पानुत बुट्टर

It's getting worse!!! I am so sorry Peanut Butter.


Use this to check the FDA's list of tainted goods.




Good luck!

Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...MONDAY.



I don't like them!


Really. There is nothing easy about getting up on a Monday.

I'm a relatively pleasant guy. But, when I wake up on Mondays I want to murder people. Literally...murder.

An Axe Murderer sounds like a person who kills axes.

Axe murderers are the only type of murderers whose title includes their weapon, you know?

There are no Gun Murderers.

"He's a knife murderer"

"So I Married a rope murderer"

Whatever.

Whilst I'm at it, a the term Metrosexual sounds like someone who masturbates on trains.




Am I right? okay. Lexington KY next week yo.

No shows on a Monday.

CHECK OUT THE NEW VIDEO PLAYER I JUST GOT BELOW! or don't.

Hello.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.



Deaf Children Area

Some facebook status messages I've seen recently:


"Nadya can't find #7,4,and 12" - Octomom.

"Dave is hoping those black guys I just saw don't rob me" - NY Post Cartoonist

"Michael Jackson is so fucked..he's like a kid getting fucked by Michael Jackson" - Michael Jackson

"Chris Brown has gone from 'in a relationship' to 'single'" - Rihanna

"Travis is starting not to like this woman" - Travis the chimp.

"Alex is juicing right now" - A-Rod.

"FB is excited to own all your stuff" - Facebook


eeeright...

Here's a picture for you:




Nice body, kid.



have a good day.

Helloooo.

Big Headline today: Chimp attack!!!



This ends kind of sad. But, Travis the chimp could eat at the table and drink from a glass, but he attacked someone out of nowhere and had to be put down. Just check out how cool looking Travis was:




So wise.


Damn. Sorry to see him go. He looks so awesome. Wanna watch movies from Netflix instantly with him every day.

Man....

Can't believe this chimp flipped out. He was famous. He let it get to his head.

Bye Travis.



Now let's look at some great chimp pics:




Brings tears to my eyes.




I used to work for this guy.



A Beautiful Mind.


See how this website works? Quick--easy.

Also --

I'll be doing stand up March 4-7 in Lexington KY if you are in the United States area you should come. The place is called Comedy Off Broadway.

FBI Raids Peanut Butter Plant!





pull through pb.

PlEASE BUY PEANUT BUTTER!

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PEANUT BUTTER!!

BUY PEANUT BUTTER.



please.

thank you.

Hello.

I did this radio interview with The Comedy Nerds recently. It was a good time.

If you wish you can check it out: ITS HERE.

Have a nice weekend.

Hello. thanks for reading this blog as you do. I appreciate it.

I wanted to put this video up because The Dream films made it a while ago and its a series. Maybe you haven't seen it, and maybe today is the day you really get in to it.

It's The Larry and Carl series:

Here's is #1








Thanks. If you missed yesterday's "Fleshlight Day" post, feel free to check that out as well. Man...thanks.

Hello. What's going on today? Anything good? Is reading this site a complete waste of time?

I don't think so because.....


It's Fleshlight Day!

Do you know what the Fleshlight is? Well, if you don't you can click on that link...there's nothing dirty except like plastic women parts and such.

It looks like this:


Well scroll down..its not gross but its just wierd and I don't want it popping out right when you read this: ( I respect you)




That's it. I realize you didn't have to scroll much.

So, the Fleshlight is a tool that guys can use to simulate the feeling of being with a woman. And its discrete because it conveniently looks like a flashlight.





How discrete is that really?

"Man, Bill really loves that new flashlight of his...takes it everywhere."

"Why is that guy having sex with a light?"


I just feel like if you're making a transformer fake vagina, why make it turn in to a light?"



The afterglow.



What kind of guy do you have to be to purchase The Fleshlight? Oh, yeah, lonely.



Custom-Made.





Okay.. Have a warm day.



kenny

Man in Wheelchair Allegedly Steals Purse, Spits

That's right...spits. Not splits. Man robs then splits. Not the case here. He was in a wheelchair so he couldn't split.

He could split if he was in the wheelchair from the movie Silver Bullet. Have you seen this film?



The wheelchair was so awesome. (but I can't find a pic) Almost makes you want to lose your legs. Almost.

But now I am finding some of the sickest wheelchairs:






I feel like you're no longer handicapped if you have one of these.



Still handicapped. But, very relaxed.

Have you ever noticed how comfortable coffins look? They look so comfy.




Look at the pillow. fluffy.


That's gay.




this one I like.



Have a great day. Steve Tuesday.

Okay Monday.



"I'm gonna slide right there..balls first!"

What a Super bowl.